Hello Everyone :-)
I know from reading my blog post today some of you will be shocked and others have known for ages now but yes, I am a college dropout.
As most know I was in Carlow IT studying media and public relations and from what I made it out to be I was having the time of my life, which wasn't really the truth. I didn't want anyone, especially the readers of my blog knowing how much I hated it. It was embarrassing, I repeated my leaving cert to get to college, finally got there at the age of twenty and then five months in decided to drop out ... truth be told, it's the best thing I've ever done.
I loved college life I really did, I loved living away from home, I loved the Independence, I loved the friends I had made and the nightlife... well, it's safe to say I enjoyed that way too much (which is actually one of the biggest reasons I dropped out being honest) everything that happened in Carlow has shaped my life and five months there taught me more about life than anything else I've ever done but at the end of the day the course just wasn't for me. I'd never, ever put anyone off media and pr in ITC but for me it just wasn't right. Everyone told me time and time again that 'this is the course for you' and yeah I thought so myself but it really wasn't and in January this year I handed in my withdrawal form and waited for life to change.
I left Carlow in the middle of February and it was tough, coming back home to Carrick was pitiful, I had nothing, no money, no friends, no social life I really thought I had made the wrong decision which was one of the hardest things I had to go through in my life. The regret of dropping out would leave me devastated, bursting into tears at least twice a day. I was empty, back to a place I didn't want to be in, watching people move up the ladder and I had nothing, my dream of being a radio presenter was down the drain, I wanted to go back the minute I left, but if the course isn't for you then you know and there's a reason that happened.
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| Mai (words of wisdom) K <3 |
Obviously I needed a job so I searched the country far and near and no hope, for me going on social welfare just wasn't an option as it's something I very much disagree in if you're fully willing and able to work. I cried almost everyday looking for a job, I looked everywhere went on so many job interviews and no hope until one day I received a phone call from a firm in Clonmel inviting me to an information day along with my best friend who had also dropped out of college. I really believed my luck was changing but at the same time
I was so nervous I wouldn't get this job, I rang my best friend Mai and she just planted a seed in my head 'act like you already have this job' and that's what I did. The day was filled with overwhelming information, lots of talking and a crazy amount of presentations but that evening we were all invited for an interview the following day and I jumped at the chance.
Heading into the interview I kept Mai's words of wisdom in my head 'I already have this job' and low and behold there and then I was offered the job and I'm not kidding when I say I almost cried, the relief of getting a job was the greatest feeling in the world and finally at 20 years of age I finally got my first ever job!!
Unfortunately I can't speak too much about my job but I do work in a call centre helping customers fix their broadband and phone issues, I'm in my second week of training and I have to say I don't remember a time when I was this happy, getting up at 6am every morning may seem like a nightmare for some but the early mornings suit me down to the ground. I wake up, put on my business clothes (Mon-Thur is business wear) and I listen to my two feel good tunes (holding on and astronomia) and wait for Crellin to call in at 8am before dancing our way up to Clonmel for work to start at nine.
When I moved to Carlow something weird happened to me and it's as if I lost some of my personality, the fun outgoing person I once was slowly changed into a quiet, reserved actually pretty sad girl and day by day I can feel myself coming back to how I once was and it's for that reason I know I made the right decision in leaving Carlow.
My plans for the future? Well, college is on the Agenda but I'm following my heart and going with a business degree. Ideally business and event management in Limerick Institute Of Technology but I have nothing set in stone, when will I go back to college? In September? Next year? I haven't a clue but for now I'm in a job I like saving as much money as I can.
On Monday I'll be heading into my third and final week of training before we're put onto the live floor but within my two weeks I feel more sociable, more me, and so happy it's crazy.
The way I look at everything that happened is extremely confusing, I moved to Carlow thought straight away that this was how my life was supposed to be. I had great friends, I was happy, everything was new but something along those lines made me lose sight of myself and when you wake up one day, look in the mirror and don't recognise the person back at you then that's when you realise you're the person in charge of your own life and you need to be brave and do something about it.
When you say you dropped out of college people will always turn their noses up at you but trust me when I say college isn't for everyone, to get where you want to be in life depends on yourself all you need to do is fake it until you make it.
Life is just beginning and I couldn't be happier :-)
