Tuesday, 11 March 2014

Understanding Poker For Dummies..

The sisters, from other misters.
At least one weekend a month I invite the childhood friends over for a few drinks and what this usually leads to is, sing songs, arguments, shameless selfies, monopoly and more recently a game of poker, or so I thought.
 The first time we decided to take out a deck of cards we struggled to find inspiration with them, it came down to snap, bulls*it or building a card house before someone suggested poker.
 I'd heard of poker before, I liked the sound of poker, I decided to play poker!!
BIG MISTAKE!!
Not many people are aware of my competitive nature, to be honest I'm not really competitive it's just this one thing : I NEED TO WIN!!!! and when I don't I get very annoyed and agitated and turn into someone who's not very pleasant to be around.
 It's why I had to stop going to Bingo on a Friday night! I'd be so sure I was going to win, one number!!!  
 I was ready!! This was it my number would be called I was getting ready to scream BINGOOOO!!
I was almost on my feet, waiting on the number seven when all of a sudden the man would say EIGHT!! and some old fool who shout Bingo!!!
Well I never, I started sweating!! I was almost shaking, I'd lost. I even left the bingo hall.
And from that point on it was the end of my gambling career so I thought, I'd imagined going to Las Vegas in my twenties and coming home bankrupt, not a great personal characteristic I'll admit but at least I knew to never gamble, that was until poker was suggested.
 The 'game' went ahead and after screaming and almost tears the game suddenly ended with my friends saying 'they were tired' - they were in my back! They were only jealous I was winning anyway,
 this past Friday night the gathering went ahead, the usual six of us but with one extra addition and once again we decided to play poker. I explained the rules to the newbie,
''You get two cards and you need to make twenty one, you've four poker chips in front of you worth 5 euro, 10 euro, 20euro, and 50euro and you just get as close to 21 as possible'' it was easy!!
until one friend let it slip that is wasn't actually poker! that was 21!! My 'Friends' had let onto me we were playing poker all the time when in fact it was basic 21, and the excuse? - because the rules would take to long to explain to me, and I wouldn't understand. I WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND!!!!!!
I was never as insulted in my life, none the less the game of 'poker' went ahead but it's at this point of my life where I felt the need to learn how to play poker for myself, using the world, wide, web as help I found the rules of poker and made them as easy as possible to help you understand the rules of the game, however they were in fact right and I can't understand the rules: I got to four, hope it helps.

1. Choose your dealer, (Ideally someone who will help you cheat works best) pick someone who can concentrate on the game, not someone away with the fairies (eg.My friend Aisling)
2.The dealer gives each player two cards! NO ONE can see your cards!!!
3.When everyone gets their cards the first round of betting will begin, this means that the first better, places a bet on what he thinks his/her cards are worth. You can then fold, meaning you don't wish to bet in this round or you can raise the bet. (It's at this point I usually raise the bed stupidly with the expectations of winning, only to actually loose and result to crying)
4.It's from this step onwards that I don't actually understand and even with all my research I still cannot learn how to play, it's something about a flop, three cards being turned around, second round of bets and you know what I don't like the rules.

So what I would recommend is just a simple game of snap, just snap. JUST PLAY BLOODY SNAP!!!!


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