Monday, 15 July 2013

Post Holiday Depression..It's a sucker


Before I begin to explain my hate for life right now I should probably inform you that I'm home from Malaga 3 days and hating every part of the Irish way of life, I'm dying with a terrible plague aka I keep sneezing and have a cough and what's worse is I came home to a scorcher of a heatwave so compared to all my friends who are blessed enough to have 'melanin'  what ever the heck that is in there skin I'm pale as a ghost with no tan, even though I suck up the burn whilst on holiday and thought I had the real life J-Lo glow!!.

So I'll begin with Malaga.. In Spain, I was only there once before this but I would HIGHLY recommend it, I had the best week of my whole life, and only 93% of that was due to the lifeguard. We were right next to the beach and could indulge in free food and drink ALL week all while watching Spanish men, what could be worse.. and in Spain even the uglies are hot it's the perfect destination.. So after my week of no drama or stress or worries or cares I was dragged back, I put up a fight getting on that plane but in the end my tears were no match to the flying piece of metal and I was brought home to Ireland :--(

When we first landed in Malaga after having 30minutes sleep and a flight leaving at 7am which meant in the airport for 5am which meant up at 3am it's fairly obvious no one on that plane was a ray of sunshine none the less we headed to reclaim our baggage, it took an hour and a half for one smart person to realise there was a problem here and went to complain moments later the word spread..STRIKE!!!! The Spanish hooligans went on strike and our luggage was somewhere around Malaga airport!!!. Word of advice for the Spanish in the future,
Never upset a plane load of very tired and annoyed Irish people ESPECIALLY when there's a Lions match on!! That's unelectable!!. So after a 'community meeting' between the plane load of Irish, and a Mike Sherry look alike (If by any chance you're reading this you now know why I was staring at you so much, also please tell your girlfriend to relax herself) his girlfriend didn't like me so much, we had chosen our leaders Lions man (he had a Lions jersey on) and Tyrone man (he was from Tyrone) SHOUT OUT TO TYRONE MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-D anyway we split up 30 of us marched up and down the airport looking for people to give out to while the other half sat on the conniver belt, yano in case it went off anywhere!. So eventually we got our cases and it was time to find our bus, out the door across the road into the lift down to -2 out that door to the left and there's our bus, easy eh?.
Eventually we arrived at Gardenia Park and suddenly it all became worth it..

and as if that view wasn't lovely enough to the other side of the balcony we had........

I won't lie it took me a day to settle in, but just putting this out there for anyone I go on holidays with in the future the first day of a holiday I am a BRAT....just saying! I think it was the fact there was a big gang on at least 10 posh English boys who were all over 18 with no parents and spent there day playing ping pong and drinking tea, I wasn't impressed.
 So our first night in the hotel and the kiddy disco began... Whoooo!!-_- but then at 10 the entertainment began Men Vs Woman PHA.. I pitty the poor misfortunes that had to get up on stage and make an ejiot out of themselves when there on holiday .. hahahahahahahaahahhaha....
 I was up there............. alongside Annmarie ....a Scottish girl and another girl who didn't speak any English and we were against four fellas to see who was better men or woman!!. We all know the answer already ... WOMAN!!! :-D but unfortunately the men won -_- I still get the blame for loosing all because I knocked the stupid bucket of ping pong balls...but in the end we were the proud owners of diplomas!!! :D I'd say the jealousy is getting to ye all now!!

Anyway after the excitement of that night we only appeared another 3 times on the stage that week we left our entertainers take over the lovely Lola and Jonny.

So our lifeguard, he's another story, talk about a perfect man.. he fits that description SO well, Salvidor another SHOUT OUT to Salvidor!!!!!!!! :D Not a word of English :--( but you wouldn't meet a nicer man!! On the last day, the Friday we decided we NEEDED to get a picture with him, but how... we don't speak Spanish he doesn't speak English so we got out the trusy Spanish phrase book and wrote him a note..

but when 6.30 approached and he began to stack up the loungers the nerves began to hit us and we ended up running into the savourier shop where we befriended a man in there!! SHOUT OUT to Alan!!!! he knew Salvidor well so when we told him about our mission he went straight out to get him ad brought him into the shop to us, well if you ever saw two girls fan girl as much I'd be shocked, all we could blurt out was 'Hola' before throwing the book at him, he was laughing and smiling and obliged straight away to the picture with even a little kiss and a cuddle, my new favourite man in the entire world :-P

 So then our time to come home had approached :--( after the best week of my life, I cried the whole plane journey home and I'm still crying to this day, however my eyes are now opened to a life in Spain and how I don't have to always stay in Ireland, and a job as a rep is now sounding better and better!!. Even though I had this on proud display in my room all week..
 And before I go I would like to declare an apology to everyone I talked to in Dublin that Saturday morning I now understand that it was not your fault I was brought home and there was no need for me to be rude and not smile...I am sorry..oh and I'm also sorry that I shouted Munster...Munster.. all around Dublin..
So that's my week in Malaga well obviously not my week but some events :P
Adios :)
Lynda :) x

Tuesday, 9 July 2013

The Aul Spanish Divils...

There all in cahoot together!!

During a recent trip to Spain I came across an interesting thing which I do tend to think the whole Spanish Government are involved in, this may or may not be correct information which I am feeding you however it has come to my attention that there has been some initiative took by the Spanish Government and something which works very well for there tourism and drinks industry. 

Every hotel in Spain must have at least one hot member of staff!!

Yes now I know this is some sort of drastic measure I have jumped to but I do believe that this is correct!!.
It began in the year 2011 when I was in Mallorca (Beautiful island I'd definitely recommend it, particularity Alcudia...Dream destination) anyway one night this chap appeared a waiter he was, I remember it well 8pm his shift would start he'd arrive in his black shirt and black pants with a yellow apron and you'd smell him before you'd see him, the wiff of Paco Robanne Jaysus he used to be smothered, not that I'm complaining to this day if I smell Paco Robanne it's automatically 'Spanish Boy'. If you've read any of my blog posts before you'll notice I refer to a man called Conor Murray quite a bit but this lad was the SPIT!!,and I didn't even know Murray existed at this stage. So our summer relationship began, yano one day I said 'Gratasis' and he replied 'De Nada' which means 'Thank you' and 'No bother', we got very close as you can see NOT!!. An ignorant little boy come to think of it the only time I even saw him smile was when the Cork man fell off his chair, but shur we didn't care about his ignorance he was beautiful, unfortunately I've no picture to show :--( You'll just have to take my word for it. Leaving Mallorca was horrible roaring on the bus home because I couldn't get the creep, but yano I moved om picked myself up and found myself a new man to stalk.

So my next point was just a few days ago actually in Malaga, best week of my whole entire life!! Myself the mother the best friend and the best friends mother headed off. Whatta week!!!!! but on a serious note this was what made me realize how smart that Spanish Government really are. There was a fella, the lifeguard. The most beautiful man I'd ever seen in my whole entire life, his red shorts and white tank top which would get wet from time to time so he felt the need to take it off and hang it up to dry! NO COMPLAINTS!!!!!!!!!!.  He was very tall, very dark, dark hair, big massive brown eyes and tattoos, a perfect man!!!. Surely he was going to be ignorant too?!! NO!!! He was the sweetest man EVER!!!. 
I remember it well it was a Monday, I found out that to get the indoor pool you had to book it at reception they gave you a note you brought it to the lifeguard and he would let you in, so I suddenly saw swimming in a whole new light.

Well would you blame me...

So this is why I think the Spanish government have come to some sort of agreement that they must hire at lease ONE heart throb per hotel, and I for one think this is a great initiative and something the Irish embassy should do some research in. It's great for tourists as I for one am already planning my return just to look at him again and also does wonders for the drink trade in Spain, do you understand how many cold beverages we needed when he was playing water polo!!!... quite a lot!!!
Now as I am a budding entrepreneur of the future with my own range of old traditional Irish pubs I will use this Spanish theory and hire beautiful looking men and when my range of pubs are up there, ye'll all know how they got there ;)

Lynda :)