Tuesday, 21 February 2017

I'm Way Too Selfish To Be In A Relationship Anyway

This day last week was Valentines day and for me it was just any another Tuesday. I woke up, got dressed, went to work, came home, watched the soaps and went to bed, absolutely nothing exciting or any bit interesting (like my entire life atm) but for the first time in my life it hit me how single I currently am and for a second I almost didn't like it.
 I usually don't mind Valentines, I personally think it's cute marking a day to show someone you love them but my God this year it did my head in!! I was disgusted with the teddies, the flowers, the stupid love heart bun cases everything annoyed me so much and you know what annoyed me more than anything? The fact I was leaving a stupid day annoy me so much, like seriously get it together!!

Personally in my twenty one years I've never been so single, there's no special male in my life, there's no one I'm talking too, no one I'm interested in and absolutely no one I want to dedicate my rare spare time too and hence the inspiration behind this blog post, how I genuinely am wayyy to selfish to have a boyfriend!!
  (Unless it's Caleb Followill, then I'll be selfless in the morning..now do you see how single I am, just to have a cute pic I have to crop my head onto a supermodel...yep) Cute couple though, if only I didn't forget to tan my face ey!!

 I started thinking about relationships a couple of days before Valentines day and how I was on this path, the 20-30 end of my life path that freaks me out so much and it all stems back to my psychological fear of loosing my youth. If it was up to me I'd never grow up but since I turned 21 I became very aware that I was on the track for marriage and kids even though in reality that couldn't be further from what I want but of course this stupid f'ing time of the year started making me doubt all of this and I started to think 'what if I did have a boyfriend though, wouldn't it be nice' HA... NO NO LYNDA IT WOULDN'T BE NICE SHUT UP!!

This 'I want a lad craic' lasted a whole of three days when small little things started to remind me why a relationship is the last thing I want.
The first thing that struck me was when I was lying in bed one night and I couldn't get over how comfy I was, Jesus I can't even describe how much of the height of comfort I was in and then it hit me... imagine some dirty mans cold feet getting in beside me now...no, no thanks!! Like and lets be realistic it's a mans feet so they'd be rank....
 The second reason hit me the same night when one leg rubbed off the other and I realised my legs hadn't been shaven in probably two weeks... Yep! Two weeks ....actually no it was one week on Friday so a week and a half but you get the picture!! I couldn't walk around like a grizzly bear if I had a man, nope!!

The third reason was when I had Sunday off and decided to go on a Penney's spending spree and fleeced myself until this Friday and who cares? I didn't have to buy a stupid present, I don't have to spend money on expensive waxing, I don't have to look nice literally money goes on me and that's the way I like it!!
 On the same note, I don't have to report to anyone none of that shit explaining yourself about how you decided to go and waste three hours of your life walking around New Look like mind your own, none of that thank you!!

My fourth, or fifth (I lost count) reason hit me six minutes ago when I went for the fridge to get myself a glass of Malibu and orange juice and didn't have anyone telling me that I've drank so much Malibu in the past week that I could possibly turn into a coconut ...like who needs that in their life?!! Not me!!

What basically hit me is that I'm in one of the best positions of my life, I'm young, free, I have no big responsibilities, I can do what I want and go where I want with nothing or no one holding me back and I'm very aware that this won't last forever. There will come a time when I suppose I'll have to settle down and share my bed and stop excessive drinking but as for now...
Feck off Love


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