Wednesday, 16 November 2016

The Dumbest Things I've Ever Done - Work Edition

First and foremost I'd like to put it out there that I'm generally not a dumb person, however occasionally there are times where I might say/think/do dumb and downright stupid things, I mean who doesn't but there have been some things that literally make me want to hang my head in shame especially when it comes to stupid moments in the workplace. 
Seeing as though I'm off work today and all I have planned is to shower, clean and a visit to Costa I decided to sit down and write a little post on the times I have been the scarecrow with no brains in work and I don't even think saying I'm blond will get me out of these ones!! 
What a dunce!! 

The ZipYard 
There was a time not so long ago when I decided I wanted a new job so searched high and low looking for the perfect one. I'd just left college and didn't know what to do with myself so being honest I pretty much applied to everything. 
I used all the websites, indeed, Tipperary jobs on facebook and one day I came across an advertisement for the Zip Yard in Clonmel. 
My first thought was 'Oh My God, they have a zip yard I can't believe it' literally working somewhere like that would be a dream come true imagine the fun.
So I began my cover letter, the usual:
'To whom it concerns, I recently came across your advertisement blah blah'
and then proceeded to go on about how I would love to work in such a fun environment, how I'm great with kids and my biggest selling point was how I can keep people calm in nerve wrecking situations which would benefit my hugely in this job yano seeing as though people are zip wiring through the forest.
Well anyway, weeks passed and I heard nothing back from the zip yard, I was disgusted, how dare they I would have been the perfect person for the job, but one day as I drove through Clonmel I noticed a shop I'd never noticed before. A shop called 'The Zip Yard' that wasn't actually a 'zip wire yard' but a place to sew and stick buttons onto things and well basically you don't have to be good with kids, be able to keep calm in a situation or be any bit fun as long as you can sew. Needless to say I still haven't gotten a response.  

Oasis
This story happened not so long ago and I was in the second week of a new job so as imagined I was trying to do my best with my new surroundings. Dealing with people in itself can be daunting but when you have to help a customer and you think they've lost their minds well that's a completely different kettle of fish.
 It was a Monday morning in work when a woman came up to me and asked 'Sorry do ye have Oasis here, I know you did before' Oasis???!!!! Had she lost her mind, baring in mind I worked in the furniture department of a store why would Oasis be here?!! Madness so I replied 'Jesus no sorry, they're broken up with years I don't see any sign of them getting back together. We have Roz Purcell coming on the 18th but I honestly don't think Oasis have ever been here. I knew by her blank expression something wasn't right so I explained to her that I'll go check with a colleague. Well, long story short Oasis is dry foam that you put fake flowers into....

The Car With No Doors
Not so long ago I was doing some work with one of my favourite Irish companies, I couldn't believe my luck literally it was the dream role and I was working alongside two people I genuinely admired so much so really didn't want to balls anything up or embarrass myself...
 One day when that challenge to flip a bottle upside down was doing the rounds we were all asked to attempt it for the companies Snapchat account. I came the closest but when I bent down to pick up the bottle what happened?? My jeans split, right down the middle. 
No one noticed really so I just thought say nothing, It'll be grand just try squish up your legs to cover the hole anyway today was a little different as we had to go out and about meeting people in Clonmel. I first of all almost died because I had a big gash in my jeans (if only I got that job in the Zip Yard) but now we had to meet people. Horror. 
So as I proceeded to get into the company car I realised it was three door, there was no back doors so I'd have to hop in the back and push the chair forward like you do with car that has no back doors. I opened the door and started pulling and pushing the chair trying to get it to move which lasted for about 5 minutes. I was told that 'It's fine she has small legs you don't need to move the chair' but I didn't understand. What was I going to do? Jump over the chair?? squeeze in the side, well this lasted a further 5 minutes before I admitted defeat and asked for help. Oh and did you know Renault Clio's like to be sneaky and hide the back door  handles ...well you do now there's 5 doors not 3 and the shame still lies with me. 

How much is Santa?
One of my favourite things about my current job is I get to deal with the public face to face everyday and this of course encourages chatting and as we all know I love chatting. My last story of the day basically shows you how much of a eejit I can be and literally there's nothing I can even say to defend myself.
 Where I work Christmas is a big deal, basically if you don't like Christmas it's your hell but one day I got chatting to an elderly couple about Christmas and Santa etc. I told them how our Santa Land was opening very soon and how excited I was.
 'How much is he?' asked the man. What did he mean??? Well this got me thinking, Santa...how much is Santa? I started to take everything into consideration. Well like he's one of the most famous men in the world, and he has a lot of wealth obviously with his land in the North Pole and on top of that he's the most in demand man in the world? 
'Jesus he's net worth is it??? God I'd say about a few million easily' Turns out it's €10 and €7.50 for pictures in Santa Land.

And that's four of my most dumbest moments so far, I could of course mention a million more especially from working in the call centre, but that in itself is one of the dumbest things I've ever done. So to recap, when a customer asks for Oasis it's flowers they want, when someone asks about the price of Santa it's usually how much he is 'the Zip yard' fixes zips and Renault Clio's have five doors.
 Life tips from Lynda.

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